Do you know the feeling when you first meet the person that turns out to be your person? When you can’t wait until you see them again and just want to wrap your arms around them and never let go.
Well, now, imagine this, but with their friend present. When you want to have a private conversation or an intimate moment, but there’s someone else just standing there, making things awkward.
That’s exactly what happened to this redditor, who, after three months of dating, could no longer bear her boyfriend’s friend Liam third wheeling on their dates. The woman took to the ‘Relationship’ subreddit, asking if the friend’s constant presence was a valid enough reason to end their relationship, and when she eventually did, things took a very bizarre turn.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find We’s interviews with psychotherapist and author of Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues, Kelli Miller, LCSW, as well as the OP herself, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
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Spending time with your partner and friends can be a lot of fun, but for a relationship to survive, one on one time is crucial
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This woman could never meet her boyfriend without his friend present
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“I’m guessing it was just a game for him,” the woman told We
Talking about the situation with We, the OP shared that what upset her the most was being lied to. “At first, it was the fact that Liam was on all the dates, and I felt I had no private time with my boyfriend. But since I learned the truth, it was the fact that he lied and manipulated the whole situation,” she said.
The redditor couldn’t explain why her partner would do something like that and lie to people who are seemingly important to him. “My boyfriend told Liam that I was uncomfortable being with him alone, which makes no sense, but that is what Liam told me about the situation.
“I’m guessing it was just a game for him that eventually backfired, or that he was in love with Liam like some commenters suggested,” the woman said. “In the end, I think he is just manipulative and likes to know that he’s the only one who knows the truth.”
The OP continued to share that after learning the truth and ending the relationship, she felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders. “I know the truth and that’s enough,” she told We, adding that she only talks to Liam here and there and has way more free time now that the dates with the friend duo are done.
Spending one-on-one time with your partner talking can positively influence your relationship
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When it comes to romantic relationships, one-on-one time is crucial at every step of the way; though it’s arguably especially important in the very beginning. How else will you genuinely get to know the person?
But no matter the stage of the relationship, spending time together, doing nothing but talking, can work wonders for the couple’s closeness. Studies report that partners who spend a large share of their time together talking tend to experience greater relationship satisfaction, perceive more positive qualities in their relationships, and feel greater closeness to their significant other.
“One-on-one time is crucial in a relationship – at every stage,” seconded psychotherapist and author of Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues, Kelli Miller, LCSW. “While socializing with others is healthy and important, it’s through uninterrupted time together that couples truly bond and deepen their connection.”
A study delving deeper into trends regarding free time with a partner found that over the last few decades, couples have shown increasing levels of interest in spending leisure time together. Compared to 40 years ago, the research revealed that not only do people have more free time now, they also spend more of it in the presence of their partner. (Arguably, just their partner, and not their partner plus a Liam.)
Institute For Family Studies seconded the idea that partners spending time as just the two of them—going on date nights, for instance—can positively affect their relationship. Data suggests that spouses who went on more frequent date nights reported being happier in their marriage and less likely to see divorce down the road. They also were more likely to say they were very happy with how they communicate with each other. Be that as it may, only about half of respondents said they went on date nights regularly.
Studies suggest that entering a romantic relationship costs a person two close friends
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No matter how much we love our partners—or friends, or family, for that matter—there are only so many hours in a day we can spend with them. Bearing that in mind, it’s no surprise that when people start to devote a large share of their time to someone, it often comes at the expense of others in their lives. Some studies suggest that entering a romantic relationship can cost a person two close friends.
According to Pew Research Center’s data, if people lost two friends, the majority of them wouldn’t be left alone. A survey from 2023 found that close to 40% of people have at least five or more close friends (18% have three, and 7% have one); though, 8% of respondents say they have no close friends.
While romantic relationships are important, clearly, so is friendship. But the two can’t always go together. It’s important for partners to spend time just the two of them or spend time together with friends; however, always having friends around when going on dates can quickly make everything turn south, as the OP’s story shows.
“A partner’s friends can have a meaningful impact on the relationship, especially if time spent with them starts to come at the expense of the partnership,” Miller told We in a recent interview. “For instance, if one partner feels their needs are being overlooked or that friends are being prioritized over the relationship, it can create tension. That’s why it’s so important for couples to talk openly about what feels fair and fulfilling when it comes to friendships and time spent apart.”
The expert continued to emphasize that communicating your needs clearly—and being receptive to your partner’s needs—is essential for a healthy relationship. “Clear, direct communication is the foundation of a strong connection. We often forget that our partners aren’t mind readers; they won’t know how we’re feeling or what we need unless we tell them. Likewise, it’s important to respond with care when they share their needs with us. In Love Hacks, I offer practical tools for communicating in ways that help your message land in a way your partner can hear and respond to.”
Unfortunately, in the OP’s case, open communication didn’t go far; whenever the topic of Liam was brought up, the redditor’s boyfriend would guilt-trip her into letting him stay. Eventually, though, the woman decided that she couldn’t take it anymore and ended the relationship. But while she did guess that Liam might be there when she broke the news to her partner, she couldn’t see the plot twist that awaited her after the conversation.
Fellow netizens shared their thoughts in the comments
The woman provided an update, sharing how things took an unexpected turn
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People couldn’t comprehend, why her boyfriend would do something like this
