Most people hope for a quiet, friendly neighborhood where people greet each other in the street and have each other’s backs. Of course, even when this suburban dream has been realized, there’s not much you can do about who delivers the mail.
One mailman was a complete menace, treading on flowerbeds, being rude, and, to top it all off, flinging bottles of his pee into peoples’ gardens or, even worse, right at them if they complained. Little did he know a heroic kid had him right in his sights.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:A mean mailman can really ruin the vibe, as one neighborhood was finding out the hard way
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After changing mail carriers, they were saddled with a particularly nasty mailman who had no respect for the neighborhood or the people living there
He also had a filthy habit of flinging bottles of his pee into peoples’ gardens, or even at them if they complained
The mailman’s dad, the local postmaster, defended him, saying “boys will be boys”, until one kid had the guts to fight back in the stinkiest way
Armed with a water pistol and a mixture of the mailman’s pee and Red Bull, the twelve-year-old blasted him, leaving him to flee the scene and never return
When the neighborhood’s new mailman showed up, people expected letters – not wrecked flower beds and bottles of pee. Dave was rude, destructive, and had a signature move: urinating in bottles and launching them into yards when annoyed. Why was he still employed? Nepotism and small-town politics, OP tells the community.
Despite his nastiness, Dave had friends in high places: his dad Bob was the postmaster, and Bob’s bestie? The local sheriff. Any complaints were brushed off with “boys will be boys.” Except Dave wasn’t a boy, he was a grown man in his 30s weaponizing his bodily fluids. OP says everyone hated him, especially the neighborhood kids.
Then one scorching summer day, karma showed up with a water pistol. Orrin, a sharpshooting 12-year-old, filled his super-soaker with Dave’s own pee (from a discarded bottle) and Red Bull. One perfectly aimed blast later, Dave was covered in a sticky, stinky mess. He panicked, stripped, and ran. Cue the entire neighborhood pretending nothing happened.
When confronted by postmaster Bob and the sheriff, Orrin’s dad delivered the ultimate clapback: “Don’t you always say, ‘boys will be boys’?” They had no comeback. Dave vanished shortly after. No goodbyes, no apologies, but according to OP, that year Orrin’s birthday party was legendary.
From what OP tells us in their post, postmaster Bob wasn’t about to do anything, and the sheriff seemed happy to turn a blind eye to Dave’s disgusting antics. Not every neighborhood has a plucky kid with perfect aim, though, so what can you do about a malicious mailman? We went looking for answers.
According to a consumer protection lawyer on the JustAnswer website, if you’re having issues with your mail carrier, you should call the USPS Consumer Affairs hotline at 1-800-ASK-USPS or file a formal complaint online. Explain the situation in detail, including the specific dates, incidents, and witness accounts (if any), then request an investigation and follow-up.
It’s vital that you document everything. Keep a written record of all interactions with the mail carrier and USPS officials, including dates, times, what was said, and any witnesses present. Take photos of your mailbox and the surrounding area to document its condition and accessibility and save any returned mail pieces as evidence.
You could also consider taking legal action by speaking to a local attorney specializing in consumer protection or postal regulations. They can advise you on your legal rights and options, which may include filing a lawsuit against the USPS seeking a restraining order against your mail carrier for harassment.
In the end, Dave got what was coming to him and the neighborhood was spared the hassle of following a formal complaint procedure, but it’s good to know that mail carriers can be held accountable for misbehavior – in snow, rain, heat, or gloom of night.
What would you have done if you lived in OP’s neighborhood? Do you think Dave’s punishment fit his crime? Let us know in the comments!
In the comments, readers celebrated the plucky kid, with one suggesting he be rewarded with a new water pistol for his next birthday
